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    Greetings from New Jersey, the state everyone talks about behind its back.

    Greetings from New Jersey, the state everyone talks about behind its back.

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    Greetings from New Jersey, big enough for your whole extended family to avoid each other.

    Greetings from New Jersey, big enough for your whole extended family to avoid each other.

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    Greetings from New Jersey, a great place to raise your kids and to judge the way everyone else raises theirs.

    Greetings from New Jersey, a great place to raise your kids and to judge the way everyone else raises theirs.

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    Happy Mother's Day to someone who expects to be treated like a queen on this and every other day.

    Happy Mother's Day to someone who expects to be treated like a queen on this and every other day.

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    May your Mother's Day celebration be more expensive, luxurious, and over-the-top than that of your friends.

    May your Mother's Day celebration be more expensive, luxurious, and over-the-top than that of your friends.

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