Since my singledom is raging on like a warehouse rave in the late 90's, I'll continue flailing my glowsticks around the online dating game.

I'm using Tinder because it's already on my phone and I can operate the app using one hand while I try on hideous bridesmaids gowns. My best friend recently got engaged, causing me to ponder the idea of soul mates and my own loneliness. Since I don't have a therapist, I decided to use Tinder as a forum for tackling the big issues. After a furious session of right-swiping, I asked these thirsty pieces of geographically determined man-meat if they believed in soul mates.

Advertising

Not. A. Chance.

Apparently my profile is lacking.


True Detective or Bust

Advertising


Let's talk about sex baby.


This made me laugh so hard. I may have been on Tinder too long at this point.


I was not expecting this curveball.

Something tells me you're just saying what I want to hear...

The realest.

Advertising

Hook ups, of course.