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Just curious what you're doing and wearing right now

I can't think of anyone I'd rather be in a dysfunctional relationship with

If we were snow monkeys, I'd pick dead skin and insects off your fur even if I wasn't looking to mate

I love to watch you sleep before I wake you up and nail you

FYI, I'm building a shrine to your cock

If you knew how much I've been thinking about you, you wouldn't be talking to me right now

Nothing Steve Jobs ever creates could fully replace you in my life

I'm glad you recognize how terrible your life would be without me

Even when we're 80 I will do you from behind

I'm always completely available to help clean your body

Someday I want to adopt an Asian baby with you

I can't believe how much I'm not sick of you

I could watch TV with you forever

Someday I'd like you to be my emergency contact person

This must be love because I haven't even contemplated an eventual escape plan

I like when you pretend to like holding hands

I love you like L.A. loves to riot

Being around you makes me want to briefly stop compulsively checking all forms of digital communication

I never thought I'd fall in love with someone who put out so quickly

I like you even more than you like seemingly random crap on Facebook

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