•  

    I always have time for you when I can't think of a good enough excuse.

    I always have time for you when I can't think of a good enough excuse.

  •  

    I hope you find what you're willing to settle for.

    I hope you find what you're willing to settle for.

  •  

    If Jesus was on Facebook he'd defriend you.

    If Jesus was on Facebook he'd defriend you.

  •  

    I love you more each day as my other options diminish.

    I love you more each day as my other options diminish.

  •  

    I want you to know that I would support any choice that I tell you to make.

    I want you to know that I would support any choice that I tell you to make.

  •  

    I've never not felt this way about anyone before.

    I've never not felt this way about anyone before.

  •  

    If I had a dime for every second of the day I thought about you, I'd be much too rich to give you a second thought.

    If I had a dime for every second of the day I thought about you, I'd be much too rich to give you a second thought.

  •  

    The Pope joining Twitter should provide a nice balance to your 140-character scrawls of unholiness.

    The Pope joining Twitter should provide a nice balance to your 140-character scrawls of unholiness.

  •  

    You're the Lindsay Lohan of pretending your drinking problem isn't as bad as Lindsay Lohan's.

    You're the Lindsay Lohan of pretending your drinking problem isn't as bad as Lindsay Lohan's.

  •  

    Let's hang out sometime during the brief period between apocalyptic death storms.

    Let's hang out sometime during the brief period between apocalyptic death storms.

  •  

    To know me is to know that I don't want to get to know you.

    To know me is to know that I don't want to get to know you.

  •  

    Your public displays of affection should be closed to the public.

    Your public displays of affection should be closed to the public.

  •  

    Don't talk to me about lack of communication.

    Don't talk to me about lack of communication.

  •  

    I love you so much that I think of you every time I get married.

    I love you so much that I think of you every time I get married.

  •  

    Your secret's safe with me since it's not worth sharing with anyone.

    Your secret's safe with me since it's not worth sharing with anyone.

  •  

    I'd wait in line to make fun of you for waiting in line to buy the new iPhone.

    I'd wait in line to make fun of you for waiting in line to buy the new iPhone.

  •  

    You're everything a girl could ask for in a scapegoat for her personal insecurities.

    You're everything a girl could ask for in a scapegoat for her personal insecurities.

  •  

    I'd love to know a little less about you.

    I'd love to know a little less about you.

  •  

    You are the Hurricane Sandy of my Facebook feed.

    You are the Hurricane Sandy of my Facebook feed.

  •  

    My voicemail will always be there for you.

    My voicemail will always be there for you.

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