Sorry your apartment after graduation won't even be as nice as the crappy ones on Girls.
You're as irresistible to me as whipped cream shots are to Betty Francis.
Mondays are even harder now that I have to stay up until 3 a.m. to finish watching Sunday night TV.
Sorry NBC had the nerve to stop airing a show that you and dozens of other people loved.
Meth addicts will never understand how hard it is to withdraw from Breaking Bad.
Congratulations to Two and a Half Men on successfully maintaining its astonishingly low standards.
Two and a Half Men just pulled ahead of Charlie Sheen in my dead pool.
Congratulations to Conan on not getting replaced by the guy he replaced.
Sorry the cast of Jersey Shore went to Italy and you can't even afford to go to the Jersey Shore.
I'm worried this season of Jersey Shore will be less embarrassing to America than our government.
You're as important to this office as Walter White is to a meth lab.
I wish Oprah had retired before discovering Dr. Phil.
I'll get over Oprah's show ending as soon as Oprah tells me to.
It's time to say goodbye to the talk show host who will be missed by everyone except the employed.
I'm glad Ashton Kutcher found a job where I know I can avoid seeing him.
I'll start watching The Wire if you stop pretending you're a savant for watching The Wire.
![[UPDATED] 31 unintentionally offensive test answers from young children.](http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/feed_assets/4e1dc1c5aa37f_m4e1de248b5159.jpg)
