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    You and your friends remind me of a funnier and much less exciting version of the guys from Entourage.

    You and your friends remind me of a funnier and much less exciting version of the guys from Entourage

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    I'd love to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother without you pointing out Neil Patrick Harris is gay.

    I'd love to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother without you pointing out Neil Patrick Harris is gay

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    You're as important to this office as Walter White is to a meth lab.

    You're as important to this office as Walter White is to a meth lab

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    Steve Carell leaving The Office is almost as depressing as my inability to leave mine.

    Steve Carell leaving The Office is almost as depressing as my inability to leave mine

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    No matter how much you talk about Downton Abbey we'll never forget you've seen every episode of Jersey Shore.

    No matter how much you talk about Downton Abbey we'll never forget you've seen every episode of Jersey Shore

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    Even with his marital woes and new baby on the way, I predict Don Draper will get laid more in the season premiere of Mad Men than I did all summer.

    Even with his marital woes and new baby on the way, I predict Don Draper will get laid more in the season premiere of Mad Men than I did all summer

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    Sorry NBC had the nerve to stop airing a show that you and dozens of other people loved.

    Sorry NBC had the nerve to stop airing a show that you and dozens of other people loved

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    Sorry you can't remember if Mad Men is accurate about all the drinking at work because you drank so much at work.

    Sorry you can't remember if Mad Men is accurate about all the drinking at work because you drank so much at work

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    I'm worried this season of Jersey Shore will be less embarrassing to America than our government.

    I'm worried this season of Jersey Shore will be less embarrassing to America than our government

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    You remind me of Peggy from Mad Men because of her determination to compete on an equal level with the men in her office yet still sleep with the sleaziest one.

    You remind me of Peggy from Mad Men because of her determination to compete on an equal level with the men in her office yet still sleep with the sleaziest one

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    I wish IBM would create a computer to replace the people who watch Jeopardy.

    I wish IBM would create a computer to replace the people who watch Jeopardy

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    I wish watching the awkwardly graphic sex scenes on Game of Thrones wasn't the closest I'd come to having a sex life this year.

    I wish watching the awkwardly graphic sex scenes on Game of Thrones wasn't the closest I'd come to having a sex life this year

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    Congratulations to Conan on not getting replaced by the guy he replaced.

    Congratulations to Conan on not getting replaced by the guy he replaced

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    Be careful when tuning in to Conan that you don't accidentally tune in to George Lopez.

    Be careful when tuning in to Conan that you don't accidentally tune in to George Lopez

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    Just because I can't stop talking about how gorgeous Chace Crawford is doesn't mean I'm into Gossip Girl.

    Just because I can't stop talking about how gorgeous Chace Crawford is doesn't mean I'm into Gossip Girl

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    Let's open a bar only if we firmly commit to attain the levels of depravity on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

    Let's open a bar only if we firmly commit to attain the levels of depravity on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

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    Congratulations on overcoming your fear of watching graphic sex scenes involving Steve Buscemi.

    Congratulations on overcoming your fear of watching graphic sex scenes involving Steve Buscemi

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    Sorry your abs aren't worthy of a nickname.

    Sorry your abs aren't worthy of a nickname

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    I'm not going to rehab until Don Draper does.

    I'm not going to rehab until Don Draper does

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    I promise to never treat you like NBC does its late-night hosts.

    I promise to never treat you like NBC does its late-night hosts

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