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I'm excited all the shows I record and don't have time to watch won Emmys

Sorry your upcoming vacation destination was featured on Shark Week

Shark Week is a good reminder there are things in the ocean almost as scary as a British oil company

I'd love to see a crossover show with Jersey Shore and Shark Week

Despite recent events, the cast of Jersey Shore may still be the worst thing to show up on a Florida beach

Jersey Shore reminds me LeBron wasn't the first over-publicized douchebag in Miami

Working hard to fulfill your dreams could someday make you not as famous as the cast of Jersey Shore

Just because Don Draper did it doesn't mean you can avoid your family on holidays to get smacked around by hookers

I prefer Mad Men's misogyny, racism, and anti-semitism to Mel Gibson's

Remember not to get too excited in public about Glee's 19 Emmy nominations if you're still in the closet

Steve Carell leaving The Office is almost as depressing as my inability to leave mine

I'm not interested in whether Al Gore slept with Larry David's ex-wife until it's on Curb Your Enthusiam

Justice will be served if Charlie Sheen is forced to watch Two and a Half Men in prison

Lets get together for the Lost finale and reminisce about the days when Lost made any sense whatsoever

I don't want to live in a world where Law & Order can be cancelled but Two and a Half Men can't

I can't wait for the ending of you telling me to watch Lost

Let's get an 88-year-old comedienne to do more stressful shit for our short-lived amusement

Seinfeld's acting has improved to the point where I almost believe he thinks The Marriage Ref is funny

Just in case you never make it onto Undercover Boss I wanted to let you know that working here sucks shit

Sorry your severance package was $30 million less than Conan's

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