•  

    Just because I can't stop talking about how gorgeous Chace Crawford is doesn't mean I'm into Gossip Girl.

    Just because I can't stop talking about how gorgeous Chace Crawford is doesn't mean I'm into Gossip Girl

  •  

    TV has destroyed the attention span I need to sit through a full show on TV.

    TV has destroyed the attention span I need to sit through a full show on TV

  •  

    Let's try to put at least as much thought into voting for the next U.S. president as we do into voting for the next American Idol.

    Let's try to put at least as much thought into voting for the next U.S. president as we do into voting for the next American Idol

  •  

    I'd be impressed if Frank Caliendo could do an impression of someone who isn't mortified by the inexplicable overexposure of Frank Caliendo.

    I'd be impressed if Frank Caliendo could do an impression of someone who isn't mortified by the inexplicable overexposure of Frank Caliendo

  •  

    I was into 'Mad Men' way before it attracted a slightly larger viewing audience.

    I was into "Mad Men" way before it attracted a slightly larger viewing audience.

  •  

    Watching a Mad Men character piss his pants before a business meeting has me feeling much better about my behavior around alcohol.

    Watching a Mad Men character piss his pants before a business meeting has me feeling much better about my behavior around alcohol

  •  

    The massive success of Two and a Half Men should have been a warning sign that we were capable of obliterating our economy.

    The massive success of Two and a Half Men should have been a warning sign that we were capable of obliterating our economy

  •  

    I want to be Tina Fey's second.

    I want to be Tina Fey's second

  •  

    I enjoy watching TV with you in separate locations.

    I enjoy watching TV with you in separate locations

  •  

    I want to be a shotgun-toting, gangster-robbing black homosexual like Omar on The Wire.

    I want to be a shotgun-toting, gangster-robbing black homosexual like Omar on The Wire

  •  

    You and your friends remind me of a funnier and much less exciting version of the guys from Entourage.

    You and your friends remind me of a funnier and much less exciting version of the guys from Entourage

  •  

    Toxic friendships, career futility, brazen alcohol abuse, and a reckless love life seemed like poor choices until I saw It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

    Toxic friendships, career futility, brazen alcohol abuse, and a reckless love life seemed like poor choices until I saw It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

  •  

    I will always hold the new 90210 to the same abysmally low standards of the original.

    I will always hold the new 90210 to the same abysmally low standards of the original

  •  

    I admire your use of the Food Network as a distraction from your eating disorder.

    I admire your use of the Food Network as a distraction from your eating disorder

  •  

    Let's open a bar only if we firmly commit to attain the levels of depravity on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

    Let's open a bar only if we firmly commit to attain the levels of depravity on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

  •  

    I'd love to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother without you pointing out Neil Patrick Harris is gay.

    I'd love to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother without you pointing out Neil Patrick Harris is gay

  •  

    I'll watch any TV show where they buy, remodel, or cook a house, meal, or person.

    I'll watch any TV show where they buy, remodel, or cook a house, meal, or person

  •  

    I'm shocked by how many young people get their news from The Daily Show and proud to say I get mine from The View.

    I'm shocked by how many young people get their news from The Daily Show and proud to say I get mine from The View

  •  

    Without The Wire, I'm forced to rely on local news for my fix of appalling urban violence and corruption.

    Without The Wire, I'm forced to rely on local news for my fix of appalling urban violence and corruption

  •  

    I'm more invested in the Meerkat Manor family dynamics than my own.

    I'm more invested in the Meerkat Manor family dynamics than my own

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