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birthday

Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones
Happy birthday to someone who loathes any acknowledgment of their birthday
Sorry you've reached the age where you need to start lying about your age
I'd be happy to send out your birthday invite so people won't think you're lonely or self-obsessed
I hope wishing you a happy birthday isn't considered sexual harassment
Sorry you're too old to stay out past 10:00 p.m. on your birthday
It's kind of creepy that you remembered my birthday
Your birthday is a painful reminder of how old I'm getting
It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook
Sorry you didn't receive the birthday card I can't remember if I actually sent
Let's have a joint birthday party to decrease the odds of no one showing up
Sorry everyone ignoring your birthday led you to falsely suspect a surprise party
Happy birthday to someone I know very little about except that today is your birthday
Happy birthday to someone I feel incredibly close to when I'm intoxicated
I'll always remember your birthday because it's around the same time as something more important than your birthday
I'm excited by the myth there will be tons of straight, single dudes at your birthday party
Sorry your birthday is forever marred by a national tragedy
Due to my mid-life crisis, I want birthday wishes only from people under 30
If your birthday party fell on the same night as another birthday party, I'd get the other one out of the way first
Just wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers
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