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cinco de mayo
Remember that Cinco de Mayo is an important celebration for Mexicans everywhere except almost all of Mexico
I'm celebrating Cinco de Mayo by puking tequila and gorditas on the side of a Taco Bell
Cinco de Mayo makes me long for a world in which all holidays are conveniently named after the dates on which they fall
Let's gather for a shockingly disrespectful homage to Mexican culture
Tonight I insist on eating authentic Mexican food while wearing a novelty sombrero
Sorry I wished you a Happy Cinco de Mayo not knowing you're Dominican or Honduran or that that makes a difference
Let's avoid direct professional confrontations by putting severance checks in the office pinata
I'll hook up with you this Cinco de Mayo if you can refrain from calling me a hot tamale
Today I'm making Hispanics more comfortable by peppering conversations with my feeble high school Spanish
I'm not above using obscure Mexican battles to justify my drinking
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