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confession

I'd have a nicer ass if I didn't feel so lame doing the exercises that improve asses
I have a passion for not cooking
My decreasing libido is dovetailing nicely with my increasingly disgusting appearance
I thought I was too old for Facebook, but then remembered I like looking at pictures of hot 21-year-olds
I'd like to live in a world where people only honked if they were horny
I find nothing suspicious about concealing my birth year on Facebook
I wish people would thank me for wiping my sweat off machines at the gym
Spending a day on Facebook has once again fooled me into believing I have an actual social life
I'd blow you if we weren't in the military
It's crucial that the produce I buy and eventually discard comes from the local farmer's market
I mistrust establishments that don't have Splenda
I'm a voracious reader of instruction manuals
It bothers me when gay guys don't check me out
I've injured myself yawning
I think I'm okay with Bravo's programming strategy of trying to turn me gay
My understanding of the stock market is still based on Trading Places
Sometimes I wish I could make love to the environment
I don't consider a good deed complete until I've tried letting everyone on earth know about it
I arrive unfashionably early
I inadvertently watched a movie on the WE channel last night
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