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farewell

I can't decide between vacationing alone or staying home to relentlessly weep about being single
I promise to keep your Witness Protection Program whereabouts a secret
Enjoy traveling to a large, crowded, metropolitan area that's not substantially different from the one you live in
Have fun visiting an exotic international destination and interacting only with other American tourists
Let's visit every hot vacation spot we can get to on a half-tank of gas
Have a great vacation, and we'll email you if you shouldn't bother coming back
Good luck breaking into insular, well-established friend networks in your new city
You're welcome to stay at my place for as long as your presence is mostly indiscernible to me
I got an HDTV and just wanted to say goodbye
Please take care of my dead or non-existent plants while I'm gone
I will pay you to no longer live here
Don't forget to bring your entire wardrobe
Let's plan a tropical vacation we can't afford
Can't wait to see you more often once you move to another city
Let's make vague plans to visit you in the suburbs
You must be excited to try convincing people you're excited to move to Brooklyn
Sorry your vacation will eventually end
I'm so glad the vacation didn't demolish our relationship
You're going to love hating living in New York
I'm lost and weird without you here
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