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graduation

Allow me to take some pressure off your job search by informing you that no one's hiring
I admire your relentless drive to further your education and avoid real work
This finals week, let's try not to accidentally learn what these horrible stimulants are doing to our bodies
For a quick and relaxing study break, I suggest screwing me in the stacks
If you're feeling stressed about finals, just remember that corporate America doesn't even care if you graduate
Today marks the last day it's remotely appropriate for us to nail high school girls
Your future looks promising once you take down all the Facebook pictures that make you unemployable
I truly believe your associate's degree will help you get a better shitty job
Congratulations on plagiarizing Wikipedia enough times to earn a degree
Sorry you'll someday regret having too much or not enough fun in college
Congratulations on getting through college without getting pregnant
I'd like to apply for a refund on my college education
I always knew you'd barely graduate
Congratulations on getting through the easiest part of life
Your GPA will open many doors for you
You have our complete non-financial support
You just wasted up to $200,000
Good luck finding shameful entry-level employment
Your resume sucks

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