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halloween

I'm sending my kids trick-or-treating to every house in a 10-mile radius since I can no longer afford to feed them
Best of luck choosing a costume that's not too clever for anyone to understand
I wish we could still cover neighborhood trees in toilet paper without feeling guilty about wasting precious resources
I'm always happy to escape the stifling confines of my identity, if only for a few hours at the end of October
I hope Wiccans don't cast a spell on me for my stereotypical caricature of a wicked witch
Let's decorate our home like the haunted house it will resemble after the foreclosure
Please get a full assessment of your physical appearance before committing to a bare-chested Hulk costume
I assume you're going as a vampire since I haven't seen you in daylight for months
I'm honoring the memory of Heath Ledger with a 15-dollar Joker mask from Walmart
Let's celebrate the one night a year our white suburban neighborhood can pose as "scary"
Be sure to hang onto your hobo costume after Halloween in case the financial bailout doesn't work
Sorry your Halloween costume is going to be much more cumbersome and uncomfortable than you expected
Since everyone's dressing as Sarah Palin for Halloween, you should go as her developmentally disabled political prop baby
I can't decide this Halloween whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or just a total slut
If the economy doesn't improve, we may need to commit real crimes this Mischief Night
I'm certain your intoxication alone will sufficiently scare others
I hear you're going as the total dickbag who doesn't dress up
You seem a little too excited about dressing in drag
I'm looking for a costume that makes me look thin
I mutilate and scorch fruit for kicks
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