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reminders

Just a reminder something's coming up you may have been too busy, lazy, or self-absorbed to fully process
The extra seconds it periodically takes for your Web site to load is taking years off my life
Don't fuck with me
Try to read a news headline every day
Hearing you snore does the exact opposite of turning me on
I'm doing my part to save the planet by occasionally using method hand soap
It's important to keep up with horrifically bleak current events
Your footwear is disgraceful
Always give up your seat to someone pregnant, elderly, handicapped, or really hot
Your cooking sucks shit
Haven't heard back so I assume you're busy, flaky, or dead
There are too many fish in the sea
Don't ever question my blog's page views again
You're too old to have a roommate
Grotesque musicians have active sex lives
Allow me to walk you through the menstrual cycle
Your Starbucks drink order embarrasses me
Being in a relationship is precisely as undesirable as being single
You had nothing to do with your favorite sports team winning
I'm not perfect
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