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thinking of you

If we ever participate in an orgy, I want to make love to you first
I'd wax my asshole for you
If we were snow monkeys, I'd pick dead skin and insects off your fur even if I wasn't looking to mate
If you really loved me, you would say it on my Facebook Wall
Now would be the perfect time to find out where you stand on the abortion issue
I worry that someday you might choose breast reduction surgery
I want you to uproot your life and move to my hometown so we can casually date
Let me know how long I should wait to tell you my period is late
I'd endure multiple subway transfers to be with you
Marrying you was the best thing I've ever done for my vagina
I've almost figured out our relationship
I'm almost bored enough to want kids
I'm glad you recognize how terrible your life would be without me
I love you like a cannibal loves human flesh
This relationship would feel more balanced if I made more money than you
Please accept this offer of all the hand in our relationship
I don't mind if you get me sick
You never pee on me anymore
We should move in together according to my accountant
Let's make love when we're done fucking
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