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yom kippur

Yom Kippur is the holiday where Jewish guilt is formally imposed
Let's embrace our Jewish faith by sleeping until 11:00 a.m. so we can feel slightly hungry for a shorter timespan
I used to fast on Yom Kippur until I realized nothing would happen if I didn't
Let's get in some more sinning before the start of Yom Kippur
I can't help but wonder what real Jews are doing today
Don't hesitate to contact me if you can't remember the things you should be atoning for
You make even a tiny religious cap look sexy
May your day of atonement be filled with misery
I'm fucking starving
On the holiest day of the year, I will complain about having to go to synagogue
I fast to repent for sins and ideally shed a few pounds
Tomorrow I will atone for barely being a Jew all year
I'm Jewish today
Have a good whatever Jewish holiday it is

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