My favorite sex position depends on how bad your breath smells.
They won't be able to fit what I'm about to do to you on a conversation heart.
Thank you for validating our one-night stand by adding me on Facebook.
I wish you were black so I wouldn't have to lie when I tell people I have a black friend.
It stops being a "shocker" when you do it every time.
The accelerator pedal on my libido was designed by Toyota.
I don't kiss on the first date, but I'll blow you by the third.
When we said it's not the same without you, we meant that it's better.
They won't be able to fit what I'm about to do to you on a conversation heart.
Clearly urbandictionary.com doesn't know you as well as I do.
Thanks for believing me the first time I told you I don't have a penis.
I wonder which major Hollywood star is using me as their Doppelganger Week profile pic.
It's time to pretend we've been Saints fans for the last 42 years.
When life is a shit show, I'm glad you're my co-star.
I'm sorry that my crippling social anxiety caused me to miss your wedding.
By watching Glenn Beck, you aren't just supporting the death penalty, you're experiencing it.
You're far better at sexting than you are at sex.
if your not suppose to eat it it wouldn't be shaped like a taco.
I feel like the Superbowl would be more exciting to me if it wasn't about a football game.
