You make me want to write bad poetry.
It's okay to call Dr. Laura the "C" word, because white people say it all the time.
I can't believe you haven't finished the thing I forgot to tell you to start.
I feel like we've grown apart over the last few hours.
To be fair, the USA has been placing Ground Zeros near mosques since March 2003.
I can't wait for the Discovery Channel's new Fall show, "Deadliest Lobby."
You're going to want a safe word.
I'll find elves baking cookies in a tree before I ever find your G spot.
Your positive attitude is completely inappropriate for the workplace.
If good things come in small packages, then you're going to love me with my pants off.
Listen son, either you make me a grandfather, or I'll do it myself.
I am considering sex reassignment surgery as a relationship exit strategy.
Christ is all you really need to cure your depression-- Christ, plus Astroglide.
Sometimes, I purposefully fuck up so I can wear this cap and fantasize about life as a unicorn.
And coming up next is the douchebag who's gonna rate this e-card a "one."
Then I rammed my thumb in her shit-pipe just like this. She squealed like a fucking pig
