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Somewhat Topical
CISPA= The only people who are safe are those who do not have an opinion.
APRIL 28TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Breakup
I broke up with God because he says he'll be there, yet he never shows up.
APRIL 9TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Birthday
I look forward to this day when you all will be validating my existence!!
MARCH 22ND, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Congratulations
Congratulations. You made sex happen so fast that I didn't realize it was happening until it was over.
MARCH 21ST, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Thinking of You
My boyfriend told me he needs space. So I told him to become an Astronaut!
MARCH 20TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Confession
Sex with me is life altering. Because once you have sex with me, you know you never want to have sex with someone like me again.
MARCH 10TH, 2012
3.00 (1 votes)
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Breakup
You presuming you know so much about me is amusing. It shows me that you are wrong more often than I originally thought.
MARCH 10TH, 2012
4.50 (2 votes)
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Thinking of You
It's funny you blame your snoring for the reason I hate you. Your snoring only proved you could also annoy me while you slept.
MARCH 10TH, 2012
2.00 (1 votes)
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Breakup
THE SADDER YOU ARE, THE HAPPIER I BECOME!
MARCH 9TH, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
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Somewhat Topical
International Women's Day! Just think what another 50 years of bitching can get us!!
MARCH 8TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Flirting
Impotency is nature's way of saying "Don't fuck that chick".
MARCH 8TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
I wish I could say in my relationship with myself that masturbating is always like makeup sex. But who am I kidding? It's always pity sex.
MARCH 4TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Apology
There are so many wonderful things in the world. Too bad you have something that is not one of them. You have chlamydia.
MARCH 2ND, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Confession
Too bad our friendships over. Especially after I wouldn't even let you touch me during my slutty phase.
MARCH 2ND, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Movies
I GOT THE MOVES LIKE JAGGER. I GOT THE MOOOOOOoooVES..
FEBRUARY 28TH, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
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Birthday
May you be forever young enough to pick up women half your age. Happy Birthday!
FEBRUARY 16TH, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
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Breakup
They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Or a little lower. But I say it is through his back, with a knife.
FEBRUARY 10TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Birthday
Congratulations, you've aged.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
5.00 (3 votes)
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Breakup
If a man says he'll die for you, is it wrong to say "please do"?
FEBRUARY 5TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Valentine's Day
HAPPY SINGLES AWARENESS DAY!! (S.A.D.) Because you're never more aware you're single than this time of year.
FEBRUARY 5TH, 2012
4.00 (2 votes)
