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Confession
Now tell the cops I was with you last night, Polly, and you can have this cracker, and all the crackers you want... if not...bye bye birdie.
MAY 23RD, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Flirting
Five bucks says you cannot get a firm grip of what is in my other pocket...
MAY 23RD, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Cry for Help
Our home is covered in the feces of over 45 different types of animals.
MARCH 18TH, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
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Confession
My inner child keeps stealing my lunch money and spending it on strippers and bags of weed.
MARCH 17TH, 2012
5.00 (4 votes)
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Congratulations
I have the perfect remedy for that herpes on your face!
MARCH 15TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Thanks
Buying you is among the top five stupidest things I have ever done. Please die.
MARCH 12TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Thanks
These mushrooms are fucking killer.
MARCH 8TH, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
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Weekend
Seriously, just give it a couple rubs like this, and the most perfect cream for your face will come right out.
MARCH 6TH, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
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TV
So you see Sally Jesse, it's all there in black and white; people find your glasses hideous, and they really hate your face.
MARCH 5TH, 2012
3.00 (1 votes)
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Sports
And then I crapped myself...
MARCH 5TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Drinks/Happy Hour
Somewhere. Somewhere out there, there is a woman drunk and desperate enough... I just have to find her.
MARCH 5TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Workplace
I meant it Geoffrey, you can rub your nutsack on the back of my head as much as you want, no matter what... I am NOT goiving up my seat.
MARCH 5TH, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
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Weekend
Oh Fuck yeah... ...Way easier to fly than a kite...
MARCH 4TH, 2012
4.33 (3 votes)
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Confession
Yeah, I guess you could say, I am really on the ball.
MARCH 4TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Weekend
Oooohhh, Yahhh. I wouldn't touch that if I were you. I also wouldn't ask me where it's been.
MARCH 4TH, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
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Encouragement
Whatever did that man mean when he said I had a "International Badonkadonk?"
MARCH 4TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Friendship
I would hug you... but then you would be all covered in sexy beast, and I fear that would just confuse you horribly.
MARCH 3RD, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Reminders
Tonight.
MARCH 3RD, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Baby
Sniff, Ahhhh.... I Love that fresh from the vaginal canal smell.
MARCH 2ND, 2012
4.33 (3 votes)
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Weekend
Staring Contest! Loser's foot gets chopped off and put on Daddy's keychain!
MARCH 1ST, 2012
5.00 (2 votes)
