You can improve your sex life by eating 300 oysters at The Oyster Bake.
Cheers to all the assholes I give my number to and blaming Fiesta for it!
I can not believe I slept with a different person every night of NIOSA.
Lord, please forgive me for breaking up with my girlfriend just for Fiesta week.
I'm blaming my bad hair day, chipped fingernail, & acne breakout on Friday the 13th.
Darling, you know we would be married if you didn't like boys so much.
Do I have to slap the Cumbia Sunday mood outta ya?
I'd like to propose a toast to my new Brazilian wax. Cheers to being clean as a whistle!
All i wanna do is go home and eat leftovers from the Superbowl BBQ.
My facialist was right, that facial did make me look 10 years younger.
If the saying you are what you eat is true, then that makes me a chocolate penis.
I'm gonna make you look MARVELOUS darling.
I would like to blow you instead of the candles on my birthday cake.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being addicted to shoe shopping.
I'd rather have a day at the Spa than hear my husband yell at the tv during the Superbowl.
Forget dancing, let's go bone in the parking lot of a reststop.
