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Flirting
To show how much you mean to me, I've booked us tickets to downtown Tokyo's waterpark adventure.
MARCH 14TH, 2011
2.50 (2 votes)
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Somewhat Topical
I'm sorry Haiti that no one cares about your disaster now that Japan has one-upped you.
MARCH 14TH, 2011
4.50 (4 votes)
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Valentine's Day
I'll be spending this Valentine's Day with a bottle of hand lotion and a sock.
FEBRUARY 4TH, 2011
4.00 (3 votes)
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Breakup
Let's file for divorce on Valentine's Day.
FEBRUARY 4TH, 2011
4.00 (1 votes)
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Somewhat Topical
Approximately 95% of my income goes towards buying gifts on various holidays throughout the year to prove to my family I love them.
FEBRUARY 4TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Flirting
I knew from the moment I saw your life insurance policy that I wanted to spend your life with you.
FEBRUARY 2ND, 2011
1.00 (1 votes)
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Valentine's Day
Roses on Valentine's Day are the perfect symbol of our relationship in that they eventually dry up, fall apart, and get tossed in the garbage.
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2011
4.33 (3 votes)
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Valentine's Day
I can't wait to see what you don't get me for Valentine's Day.
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2011
2.00 (1 votes)
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Cry for Help
I may not have a lot of money or a job, but at least I have low self-esteem and severe depression to keep life somewhat entertaining.
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2011
5.00 (2 votes)
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Flirting
If we get trapped in the snow this winter and we run out of food, I'd want you to consume my flesh for nourishment to keep you alive.
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Flirting
Since we've been together my life has gone from shit to just plain mediocre.
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2011
5.00 (3 votes)
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Somewhat Topical
I'm going to spend an excessive amount of time online today thanks to the copious amount of Internet at my disposal.
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2011
5.00 (1 votes)
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Reminders
Just wanted to remind you that it's summertime below the Equator right now.
JANUARY 31ST, 2011
3.00 (1 votes)
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Somewhat Topical
The constant snow storms and the frozen tundra in my back yard is definitive proof of Global Warming.
JANUARY 31ST, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Thinking of You
Your constant whining about being single and unloved is probably why you're single and unloved.
JANUARY 31ST, 2011
3.00 (1 votes)
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Flirting
You're the woman of my nightmares.
JANUARY 31ST, 2011
4.50 (4 votes)
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Thinking of You
Your desperate attempts to seek attention make me not want to pay attention to you.
JANUARY 31ST, 2011
3.00 (2 votes)
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Flirting
You are so adorable that I feel the need to scoop out your eyeballs and then smash your face into my knee.
JANUARY 31ST, 2011
4.60 (5 votes)
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Flirting
I cherish the moments we don't spend together.
JANUARY 31ST, 2011
4.00 (4 votes)
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Confession
I intimidate others by using big words that even I don't understand.
JANUARY 31ST, 2011
4.00 (2 votes)
