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Breakup
I wish you had a heart so I could cut it out and sacrifice it like you did to mine.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
4.00 (3 votes)
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Apology
If I have ever given you cause to feel like I care even a little whether you live or die, I sincerely apologize.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Workplace
Ever get the feeling all the work and all the ways you fill the empty hours of each day mean nothing and you're only achieving a bearable transition from life to death?
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Congratulations
Congratulations on becoming the world's first elephant gynecologist!
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Sympathy
Sorry about your drunk driving accident - let's go for drinks soon. I'll drive.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Presidents Day
Lincoln definitely said it best when he exclaimed, "Oh fuck - I've been shot!"
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Reminders
That's, "Your Bitchy Majesty" to you.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Somewhat Topical
Can't talk now - millions on unemployment are counting on me.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Baby
Congratulations on a successful birth. Millions of people do it every day, but YOU'RE special!
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Valentine's Day
Knight in shining armor seeks damsel in distress. Dragon optional.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
