Let's have a moment of silence in rememberance of all the virginities that will be lost today.
Happy Birthday. As far as I'm concerned, you're living too long.
You're exactly the type of person I'd throw a cake at. Swiftly followed by a brick. And then an Elk.
You're just like an itch that I'd love to scratch... with a fucking chainsaw.
You're sick? I honestly don't give a shit.
When life gets tough, there's always vodka...and weed.
Congratulations on your new dog.
Let's get so wasted, we almost die.
You are gifted with many things. Singing not being one of them.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Fuck you, you whore.
Today I heard some women speaking Chinese. I thought of you.
