I always thought feeling crotchety meant you had a nagging feminine itch.
I'm the kind of stalker who stalks the people viewing my profile.
Turns out Mel Gibson is just a cheap Charlie Sheen imitation.
Who cares about the guest list, the royal wedding crashers will be much more interesting.
I need you more than Kim Kardashian needs the morning after pill.
I found a Westminster dog handler who comes to your hotel and wears stilettos.
The courtesy flush didn't help.
I'd like to know what the hell my boss does all day while I blog.
Working from home means I can start drinking earlier.
I hear all of the men love you. . . at the rate of $10 per minute.
Congratulations on becoming a VP. Now a consultant will do all of your work.
This Valentine's Day I'm going to tell you how to get some. Pretend to be someone you're not.
Be mine? I just finished practicing Cosmo's 75 very naughty moves to try on a man.
No date for Valentine's Day? Next year try not to be such a slut.
This Valentine's Day, I'm going to tell you how to get some. Pretend to be someone you're not.
Roses are red Violets are blue You're a dirty skank And a fat one, too. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't have any expectations for a perfect Valentines Day. And you shouldn't have any if it isn't.
While you were busy working on your fitness, I was busy pumping your man. Happy Valentines Day!
