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Samantha35289's User Cards viewing 1-16 of 16

Cry for Help

Children, be a couple of dears and order pizza again. I'm too busy pinning these delightful recipes on Pinterest to cook.

APRIL 12TH, 2012

0.00 (0 votes)
Encouragement

Futility: The only consistent exercise I get.

APRIL 12TH, 2012

0.00 (0 votes)
Family

Now might be a good time to tell him I'm pregnant. Now might be a good time to tell her I'm sterile.

APRIL 2ND, 2012

4.00 (1 votes)
Confession

One way to guarantee that I'll ignore you is to call me from an unavailable phone number.

FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012

0.00 (0 votes)
Confession

I can't stop thinking of my wife's huge tits! I can't stop thinking of his wife's huge tits!

FEBRUARY 4TH, 2012

0.00 (0 votes)
Confession

Tell your wife I'm wearing the panties she left at my house last night.

FEBRUARY 4TH, 2012

5.00 (1 votes)
Confession

Lesbian Prep School Classes include: -Sensible shoe choices -Cat care -Auto Mechanics -Drama -...and much, much more!

FEBRUARY 4TH, 2012

5.00 (1 votes)
Somewhat Topical

Nap time at Casey Anthony Daycare Now where did I put that duct tape?

FEBRUARY 3RD, 2012

0.00 (0 votes)
Confession

I can't believe she thinks I'd actually believe that was her shoe and not a fucking fart!

OCTOBER 6TH, 2011

0.00 (0 votes)
Confession

When I'm inside of your mother, I hear David Soul's Don't Give Up on us Baby, and I picture him kissing me while I run my fingers through his blonde hair.

OCTOBER 6TH, 2011

1.00 (1 votes)
Confession

I can't wait to see what I've written all over facebook after these pain killers wear off.

OCTOBER 6TH, 2011

5.00 (2 votes)
Confession

I start thinking of women as soon as you enter me.

OCTOBER 6TH, 2011

0.00 (0 votes)
Confession

Well, if ya think that was wacky, wait'll I tell ya about the time I tried crack. and by crack I mean butt sex.

OCTOBER 6TH, 2011

0.00 (0 votes)
Somewhat Topical

.... and I use this many when doing a cavity search. Thank you for inviting me to career day at P.S. # 3.

OCTOBER 6TH, 2011

0.00 (0 votes)
Somewhat Topical

Every 10 year-old girl needs a gay friend to skip with her through the awkward years.

OCTOBER 6TH, 2011

0.00 (0 votes)
Confession

Jeremy knew his brothers were teasing when they said the he was born a conjoined twin.

OCTOBER 6TH, 2011

0.00 (0 votes)

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