-
Cry for Help
Children, be a couple of dears and order pizza again. I'm too busy pinning these delightful recipes on Pinterest to cook.
APRIL 12TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Encouragement
Futility: The only consistent exercise I get.
APRIL 12TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Family
Now might be a good time to tell him I'm pregnant. Now might be a good time to tell her I'm sterile.
APRIL 2ND, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
-
Confession
One way to guarantee that I'll ignore you is to call me from an unavailable phone number.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Confession
I can't stop thinking of my wife's huge tits! I can't stop thinking of his wife's huge tits!
FEBRUARY 4TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Confession
Tell your wife I'm wearing the panties she left at my house last night.
FEBRUARY 4TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
-
Confession
Lesbian Prep School Classes include: -Sensible shoe choices -Cat care -Auto Mechanics -Drama -...and much, much more!
FEBRUARY 4TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
-
Somewhat Topical
Nap time at Casey Anthony Daycare Now where did I put that duct tape?
FEBRUARY 3RD, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Confession
I can't believe she thinks I'd actually believe that was her shoe and not a fucking fart!
OCTOBER 6TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Confession
When I'm inside of your mother, I hear David Soul's Don't Give Up on us Baby, and I picture him kissing me while I run my fingers through his blonde hair.
OCTOBER 6TH, 2011
1.00 (1 votes)
-
Confession
I can't wait to see what I've written all over facebook after these pain killers wear off.
OCTOBER 6TH, 2011
5.00 (2 votes)
-
Confession
I start thinking of women as soon as you enter me.
OCTOBER 6TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Confession
Well, if ya think that was wacky, wait'll I tell ya about the time I tried crack. and by crack I mean butt sex.
OCTOBER 6TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Somewhat Topical
.... and I use this many when doing a cavity search. Thank you for inviting me to career day at P.S. # 3.
OCTOBER 6TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Somewhat Topical
Every 10 year-old girl needs a gay friend to skip with her through the awkward years.
OCTOBER 6TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Confession
Jeremy knew his brothers were teasing when they said the he was born a conjoined twin.
OCTOBER 6TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)