This Pride Month, celebrate being fifty shades of gay!
Girl, you're more smokin' than the ad men on Mad Men.
I'm still drunk from Cuatro De Mayo.
I've got bills to pay your skills.
On this Earth Day, let's recycle our half-hearted environmental gestures from last year.
Happy birthday Earth! You don't look a day over 6,000.
Every day is Take Your Child to Work Day when you're a stay-at-home mom!
Happy Mexican St. Patrick's Day!
All I want for Valentine's Day is to not have to watch the Vagina Monologues.
Let's have a freaky deaky Valentine's day.
I love you more than Kristen Bell loves sloths.
I love you almost as much as my iPad.
When you're choosing your Valentine this year, rember that I put out on the first date.
I'm sorry I'm so bad at doing things well.
Congrats\ulations for graduating from your online college . . . I guess.
Let's waste our parent's money on a liberal arts educaton!
I'd follow you anywhere. (Except on Twitter).
