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Hi, I will be your cock blocker for the next 10 years.
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If you make me your child's god parent, I will give them the best spiritual advice. I know a lot about vodka, gin, rum and other spirits.
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If Sally would have finished business school instead of getting knocked up, she would have learned that children are a terrible investment.
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So my friend tells me her placenta looked like a pork tenderloin, my tubes sealed themselves and I became a vegetarian.
MGiGiyesterday 5.00 (1 votes) -
You can suck my tits till you're 13 like that boy in Time magazine.
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Sorry your freshman 15 turned out to be an unwanted pregnancy.
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In 9 months we will be witness to a population boom. Known as the "Fifty Shades babies".
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While trying to vote for your child in a cutest baby contest, I accidentaly unsubscribed from any future Facebook posts you might make.
bsaws05/22/2012 5.00 (2 votes) -
Congratulations on getting married fast enough that your child is not considered a bastard.
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I wouldn't exactly call the offspring of 2 genetically challenged assholes a miracle.
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Honey go get a stool so you can get your lunch!
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I'm sorry your baby has been cursed with terribly stupid parents.
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As fathers, it is important to remember to NEVER shake the baby... ...rather, shake the baby's momma.
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The easiest way to piss off your infertile friend: Complain about your unwatned pregnancy.
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I'm sorry you posted a picture of your baby over 30 minutes ago and no one has liked it yet. And I'm sorry your baby isn't cute.
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What's that? You're having a baby? Congratulations...I'm going to continue enjoying sleeping through the night and spending my money on myself.
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Sorry my puppy is cuter than your new baby.
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Congratulations on recently destroying your vagina.
WhitS04/02/2012 5.00 (2 votes) -
While I love your baby, can you stop blowing up my news feed with pictures of it? I'm trying to see if there's anyone else from high school who has gotten fat.
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We're infertile!
![[UPDATED] 31 unintentionally offensive test answers from young children.](http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/feed_assets/4e1dc1c5aa37f_m4e1de248b5159.jpg)
