Baby User Cardsshowing 1 - 20 of 3,672
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  • Every time I see a cute kid, I remind myself how awesome it is to sleep through the night.

    Every time I see a cute kid, I remind myself how awesome it is to sleep through the night.

    Colleen1486701/08/2012
    3 sends
    4.82 (34 votes)
  • The pain of childbirth is nothing compared to the pain your child will inflict on you intentionally.

    The pain of childbirth is nothing compared to the pain your child will inflict on you intentionally.

    segdoh05/10/2012
    2 sends
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • In 9 months we will be witness to a population boom. Known as the 'Fifty Shades babies'.

    In 9 months we will be witness to a population boom. Known as the "Fifty Shades babies".

    Lesley155459505/14/2012
    2 sends
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • While trying to vote for your child in a cutest baby contest, I accidentaly unsubscribed from any future Facebook posts you might make.

    While trying to vote for your child in a cutest baby contest, I accidentaly unsubscribed from any future Facebook posts you might make.

    bsaws05/22/2012
    2 sends
    5.00 (2 votes)
  • So my friend tells me her placenta looked like a pork tenderloin, my tubes sealed themselves and I became a vegetarian.

    So my friend tells me her placenta looked like a pork tenderloin, my tubes sealed themselves and I became a vegetarian.

    MGiGiyesterday
    1 sends
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • If it's a boy, that'll be the longest time I've ever had a penis inside of me.

    If it's a boy, that'll be the longest time I've ever had a penis inside of me.

    zdmiorin05/04/2012
    1 sends
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • This world really needed another asshole with your genetic fuck ups.

    This world really needed another asshole with your genetic fuck ups.

    Josh155378805/15/2012
    1 sends
    4.00 (1 votes)
  • Our parents believed holding would lead to spoiling. But look at all the issues we have. Boo to non-attachment parenting.

    Our parents believed holding would lead to spoiling. But look at all the issues we have. Boo to non-attachment parenting.

    Sharen157154605/17/2012
    1 sends
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • Remember mommy and daddy don't think you're cute in the middle of the night.

    Remember mommy and daddy don't think you're cute in the middle of the night.

    sayanythingsayers05/12/2012
    1 sends
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • Of course there will be drinking and debauchery, it's a baby shower for God's sake. You can have a nice glass of water.

    Of course there will be drinking and debauchery, it's a baby shower for God's sake. You can have a nice glass of water.

    Eric5063905/16/2012
    1 sends
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • Congratulations on your new bundle of crying, pooping, and sleeping.

    Congratulations on your new bundle of crying, pooping, and sleeping.

    wampum0905/16/2012
    1 sends
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • I think we can all safely agree: Babies ruin everything.

    I think we can all safely agree: Babies ruin everything.

    Christine1253205/16/2012
    1 sends
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • I'm sorry I forgot to congratulate you on getting purposely knocked up!!! How incredibly rude of me!!! Congrats!!!

    I'm sorry I forgot to congratulate you on getting purposely knocked up!!! How incredibly rude of me!!! Congrats!!!

    coolmom8205/16/2012
    1 sends
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • In just 9 months we will be witness to a population boom. Known as the 'Shades of Grey Babies.'

    In just 9 months we will be witness to a population boom. Known as the "Shades of Grey Babies."

    sandypvz04/26/2012
    1 sends
    4.00 (2 votes)
  • Kids: Nature's cock-block. Congrats, though.

    Kids: Nature's cock-block. Congrats, though.

    tonydido05/19/2012
    1 sends
    3.33 (3 votes)
  • As fathers, it is important to remember to NEVER shake the baby... ...rather, shake the baby's momma.

    As fathers, it is important to remember to NEVER shake the baby... ...rather, shake the baby's momma.

    dyalekt05/21/2012
    1 sends
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • You can suck my tits till you're 13 like that boy in Time magazine.

    You can suck my tits till you're 13 like that boy in Time magazine.

    catch6105/22/2012
    1 sends
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • I hope your baby doesn't turn out as ugly as I think it will.

    I hope your baby doesn't turn out as ugly as I think it will.

    schmaven05/22/2012
    1 sends
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • For the kids Do it for the kids.

    For the kids Do it for the kids.

    nickwm1505/22/2012
    1 sends
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • I plan to give you love, nurturing, and just enough dysfunction to make you funny.

    I plan to give you love, nurturing, and just enough dysfunction to make you funny.

    latenightcoffee02/28/2012
    1 sends
    3.80 (5 votes)

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