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This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.
dayfee05/11/2012 5.00 (3 votes) -
Sometimes my poor life decisions look like fantastic drinking opportunities.
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My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
dayfee05/11/2012 5.00 (2 votes) -
My fake plants died because I didn't pretend to water them.
dayfee05/11/2012 5.00 (2 votes) -
If the penis fits, go for it.
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Thank you college for allowing me to 'explore' my sexuality by joining a Sorority.
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You don't have to be pregos to eat werid food. Its called a broke college girl on her period.
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Let's pretend we're lovers to avoid dancing with awkward old men.
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Schools almost over and I have a lesson plan, 2 papers, and an observation due for God's sakes. Screw it, i'll just go bake some cupcakes.
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I'm studying for the MCAT so I could get into medical school and never see you again.
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I would date you.. But my heart already belongs to Jack Daniels.
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When I think about what I learned in college all I can come up with is that I am now very limited in things to say when playing "Never have I ever".
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Multiply that by how stupid you are, then divide that by how much I dont care how much smarter then me you are.
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If I were to die & go straight to hell, it would take me a week before I realized I wasn't in medical school anymore.
doc2204/17/2012 5.00 (2 votes) -
Think of a number, add 12 to it. subtract 3. multiply by 8. Now close your eyes. Dark isn't it?
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What she order? Fish fillet?
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Should I repin, risking refreshing the page thus forcing me to scroll all the way down again?
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Happy Finals Week. May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor.
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So you failed out of vet school... You'll always have your herd of cats.
rory1705/08/2012 5.00 (1 votes) -
I found $80 in my jeans. The kid in me said "Buy Nerf Guns and candy," but the adult in me said "Buy Vodka, Nerf Guns and Candy."
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