Get ready to pay twice as much as you should.
"Guilty ! Of being the biggest slut on facebook! Stop the GD duckfaces already!
I wrote everything I love about you on this paper.
"In honour of Jersday, I'm going to fuck you, then call you a cab."
I just took a huge shit. Who wants some tea?
Slip me some skin, soul brother!
Don't presume to "know me" just because I occasionally respond to your texts.
So, how's that "I-still-live-with- my-parents- even-though- I'm-over-40" thing working out for ya?
There, now you have a valid attention-seeking status update to post.
It may be out of your control, but your constant coughing still drives me crazy.
Sorghum beer, a beer for all you liberal wheat hating pussys!
Every time I text you, I am totally on the crapper.
"Is she a big fat person? About a size 14?"
"You're just the sweetest little kitty cat, yes you are."
![[UPDATED] 31 unintentionally offensive test answers from young children.](http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/feed_assets/4e1dc1c5aa37f_m4e1de248b5159.jpg)