-
Congratulations
It must be difficult to be the kind of slut that you are.
MARCH 4TH, 2012
3.50 (2 votes)
-
Reminders
Yes, I've had all of my shots. Jack, Crown, and SoCo.
FEBRUARY 25TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Thanks
Thanks for the strange tingling sensation from licking my feet.
FEBRUARY 19TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Encouragement
No amount of fish scales and chemicals can make up for that hideous thing you call a face.
FEBRUARY 18TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
-
Anniversary
Class of 2000: Because it's always cool to party and neglect your children.
FEBRUARY 13TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Thinking of You
Twinkle Twinkle little slut, random objects don't go up your butt.
FEBRUARY 12TH, 2012
5.00 (2 votes)
-
Cry for Help
... I fucking told you dude! Now you're really gonna die.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Weekend
Yes, can I have whatever is pronounceable and not fucking disgusting on the menu?
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
4.50 (2 votes)
-
Reminders
...and thats why you wear your sunglasses at night. Douche 101 continues in the AM, just show up. Remember your poped collars!
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
2.33 (3 votes)
-
Confession
I can't believe I endured 17 hours of labor and they expect me to spend time with you.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
-
Thinking of You
Dear "Insert Political Party Here". You're a Liar!
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Somewhat Topical
Unlike Randy Travis, I don't re-live country songs.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
3.00 (1 votes)
-
Confession
Once, we're 45, we'll attempt to re-live this moment with 'whip-its', and botox.
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
-
Somewhat Topical
What is thy quickest way to slide up my ladys skirt?
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2012
3.00 (1 votes)
-
Thanks
Thanks for enjoying my customer service, which include, sarcasm, rudeness, not listening and refusing my supervior to speak to you.
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Thanks
Thanks for losing your bowels at the end of a very thrilling night.
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Confession
My idea of a diet consists of eating one less double cheeseburger, out of the 4 I eat in a day.
FEBRUARY 1ST, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Apology
I'm sorry little Carlos, but I can't grant you the abililty to be 'winning'. Plus, it's grammatically incorrect.
SEPTEMBER 24TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Reminders
As men, it would be wise for us to not talk about that awkward emotional car singing duet of 'Hero' by Enrique Iglesias.
MAY 29TH, 2010
3.50 (2 votes)
-
Confession
Bob Ross continually tells me to paint 'Happy Trees' when in fact, I know I paint sadtistic, suicidal trees.
MAY 26TH, 2010
5.00 (4 votes)
