Cry For Help User Cards cards 1-20 of 1000s

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  •

    The lack of blow jobs in this relationship is alarming

    SnarkFactor 10 hours ago
    0.00 (0 votes)

  • My last doctor's visit was over $500; my last bottle of vodka was $22. Self-medication is clearly the better option.

    ampedxx 10 hours ago
    0.00 (0 votes)

  • It's not stalking until you get caught with a lousy hiding place.

    eisforem 11 hours ago
    5.00 (1 votes)

  • My stomach, ass, toilet and fresh air all collectively hate me right now

    drlhbl 15 hours ago
    0.00 (0 votes)

  • Intolerant infidels think I'm an intolerant infidel...

    giórgos 22 hours ago
    0.00 (0 votes)

  • Look dad thats where i want to go. They say that this man Michael loves to play with kids. Espeacially boys. Are you sure son?

    whitesoxfan91 yesterday
    1.00 (3 votes)

  • I feel like everyone has 64's while I'm still on a VIC-20.

    wordherd yesterday
    1.00 (1 votes)

  • Your Botox treatment left you looking very natural.

    bretsky yesterday
    2.00 (2 votes)

  • It's only considered "recreational" when you have a job.

    bretsky yesterday
    3.00 (2 votes)

  • Please let your daughter know she's devoid of talent before she finds out on some network TV reality show.

    bretsky yesterday
    3.00 (2 votes)

  • Now that you're 94 years old,maybe you should re-think your "looking for Mr. right--not Mr. right now" strategy.

    mjonharr yesterday
    1.00 (2 votes)

  • There's nothing I'd enjoy more than listening to you talk about your ex for the next several days, weeks,or years.

    mjonharr yesterday
    0.00 (0 votes)

  • Maybe it's the wine coolers talking, but I find the new Snuggie-Macarena commercial absolutely mesmerizing.

    mjonharr 08/31/2010
    5.00 (2 votes)

  • I have never seen Glee, and I don't know what happiness is either.

    rachbu 08/30/2010
    3.50 (4 votes)

  • What bottles in the recycling bin? Oh those...there for me to put my emotions in tomorrow.

    forgettable 08/30/2010
    3.00 (2 votes)

  • Now that Glenn Beck has restored America's honor, I'm hoping he can restore my virginity as well.

    rtanc 08/30/2010
    4.50 (4 votes)

  • You've brought me nothing but heartache and misery,so why don't I swing by your place and pick you up around six.

    mjonharr 08/30/2010
    5.00 (1 votes)

  • Sometimes, trying to understand conversations my daughters have on FB causes serious neurological setbacks to my increasingly feeble mind.

    Pete17054 08/29/2010
    0.00 (0 votes)

  • You've been throwing it around so much lately,I think I'll start calling you my little grand-tramp.

    mjonharr 08/29/2010
    2.00 (3 votes)

  • "Turn your head and cough" has never sounded so good.

    atomic--tampon 08/29/2010
    4.20 (5 votes)
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