"This is blank like your head, you fucking momo".
Hon, Bill wants to know if you're going milf hunting later? Do you hunt those at night?
Haha oh my! I haven't had sex with your mother in years!
That awkward moment when she who must not be named follows you.
"I'm sorry I said I was going to punch you in the face with my dick ...I went too far".
"You look like the perfect candidate in tonights election of who's gonna suck my dick."
You're the one that wanted a divorce. So quit being a cunt after it's been done.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
So I said, "of course I cheat, don't you?" Then the stupid asshole tried to kiss me!
... I fucking told you dude! Now you're really gonna die.
Mommy, when I grow up I want to be buried under a mountain of financial aid debt!
Sorry Words with Friends hasn't helped with your abysmal spelling and crippling loneliness.
Your two brain cells are fighting with each other again, aren't they?
I don't always shit my pants, but when I do, I make this face.
This is the closest my crotch has been to a beaver in years.
I brought the dog. Did you bring the peanut butter?
The red on your sheets didn't come from me. Looks like you need a new tampon.
I told you to get off your high horse. That was so I could get on it instead.
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