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I have an addiction sir !!!
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"This is blank like your head, you fucking momo".
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Hon, Bill wants to know if you're going milf hunting later? Do you hunt those at night?
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Haha oh my! I haven't had sex with your mother in years!
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That awkward moment when she who must not be named follows you.
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"I'm sorry I said I was going to punch you in the face with my dick ...I went too far".
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"You look like the perfect candidate in tonights election of who's gonna suck my dick."
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You're the one that wanted a divorce. So quit being a cunt after it's been done.
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I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
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So I said, "of course I cheat, don't you?" Then the stupid asshole tried to kiss me!
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... I fucking told you dude! Now you're really gonna die.
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Mommy, when I grow up I want to be buried under a mountain of financial aid debt!
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I try not to think about the wisdom of getting that graduate degree. Mostly, I contemplate the best ways to kill myself.
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Sorry Words with Friends hasn't helped with your abysmal spelling and crippling loneliness.
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Your two brain cells are fighting with each other again, aren't they?
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I don't always shit my pants, but when I do, I make this face.
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This is the closest my crotch has been to a beaver in years.
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I brought the dog. Did you bring the peanut butter?
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The red on your sheets didn't come from me. Looks like you need a new tampon.
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I told you to get off your high horse. That was so I could get on it instead.