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Glad I woke up for a nice day full of suck.
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One Girl, ...two cups.
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Hey politicians! Do you vote the way you do because you know by the time I'm old enough to feel the effects, you'll be dead?
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stop being an asshole... alligators will help me discard your body. no questions asked.
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Stop trying so hard to be cool...
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Isn't it ironic that John Mayer is a key contributor in so many women's hopeless romanticism when he, in fact, has consistantly proven to be an awful spouse?
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Look at me...I'm making a sandwich!
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I love the great ideas on Pinterest, but not the stupid, dumb ass, not-need comments. Just let me know if the brownies are worth making or not.
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"Honestly, darling, when I Googled 'Big hunky bears' I was looking for the animal."
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I pawned my title and took a stripper to dinner.
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It looks like your makeup was put on by a bunch of four-year-olds learning how to finger paint.
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Oh you deactivated your Facebook account? I didn't even notice.
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I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.
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So explain to me why you're lonely when you take out other women and invite OTHER women home with you?
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So let's get this straight. You date women but you bring OTHER women home? You must be so proud to be a man whore.
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I wonder how much time I'll spend doing nothing today.
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Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. You're my only... Never mind. Batman's here.
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Looks like you confused Facebook with your diary again.
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You're status updates about your body are the reason I learned how to use the subscription options on Facebook.
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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon, the little dog laughed to see such fun, and take your eyes of my whiskey, you bum!
pchase05/21/2012 0.00 (0 votes)
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