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eburcham's User Cards viewing 1-17 of 17

Lent

This year, I'm giving up on my self for Lent.

FEBRUARY 22ND, 2012

5.00 (2 votes)
Mardi Gras

Happy Fat Tuesday to someone who was already fat on Monday.

FEBRUARY 21ST, 2012

4.52 (23 votes)
Birthday

Today we celebrate that your mom made the last minute decision not to flush you down the toilet with the afterbirth.

JANUARY 14TH, 2011

3.67 (3 votes)
Sports

Congrats to a fan of a semi-shitty SEC team who somehow feels you share the national title with Auburn because you share a conference.

JANUARY 11TH, 2011

2.33 (3 votes)
Baby

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness with your new bundle of joy because I returned the baby sling I bought you and sent this card instead.

MARCH 24TH, 2010

4.00 (2 votes)
St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick is just like St. Nicholas, except he brings hangovers and herpes instead of stocking stuffers and presents.

MARCH 13TH, 2010

3.86 (22 votes)
Weekend

My Plan A includes needing a prescription for Plan B tomorrow.

FEBRUARY 23RD, 2010

4.00 (6 votes)
Workplace

Once you go MAC you'll never go back.

FEBRUARY 23RD, 2010

3.00 (4 votes)
Valentine's Day

They won't be able to fit what I'm about to do to you on a conversation heart.

FEBRUARY 2ND, 2010

4.50 (82 votes)
Workplace

All employees must use the Sniff Test before returning to work.

JANUARY 22ND, 2010

2.33 (3 votes)
Birthday

Sorry I couldn't afford to buy you a custom fit Flesh Light for your birthday.

JANUARY 14TH, 2010

5.00 (3 votes)
Halloween

Let's go to White Castle with the money we collected trick-or-treating for Unicef.

OCTOBER 9TH, 2009

4.25 (4 votes)
Somewhat Topical

Thanks for explaining that Russia hasn't invaded Atlanta.

AUGUST 18TH, 2008

0.00 (0 votes)
Wedding

Thanks for sending a gift, even though we haven't spoken in three years and you live 800 miles away from where we had the wedding.

AUGUST 18TH, 2008

0.00 (0 votes)
Birthday

Thanks for pretending you'd know when my birthday was without a Facebook reminder.

AUGUST 18TH, 2008

3.00 (1 votes)
Christmas Season

Santa doesn't visit poor kids.

AUGUST 18TH, 2008

3.00 (3 votes)
Seasonal

Let's celebrate Labor Day by mocking all of the blue collar workers who don't have the day off.

AUGUST 18TH, 2008

0.00 (0 votes)

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