Editors' Picks User Cardsshowing 1 - 20 of 1,874
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  • Flirting

    I want to put you on a pedestal and not just so I can look up your skirt.

    I want to put you on a pedestal and not just so I can look up your skirt.

    elg09/30/2010
    4.50 (2 votes)
  • Birthday

    Happy Birthday to a friend I will probably wind up living with after our husbands finally come out of the closet.

    Happy Birthday to a friend I will probably wind up living with after our husbands finally come out of the closet.

    lacomtessejamie11/15/2010
    4.40 (57 votes)
  • Valentine's Day

    My Valentine runs on batteries.

    My Valentine runs on batteries.

    purpleheathen02/10/2011
    4.67 (36 votes)
  • Friendship

    Life would be the same without you.

    Life would be the same without you.

    bandrade04/07/2011
    4.76 (25 votes)
  • Thanks

    Thanks for the pity 'Like'.

    Thanks for the pity 'Like'.

    kateshaw105/29/2011
    4.60 (25 votes)
  • Valentine's Day

    I hope you enjoy what the Internet told me to plan for you this Valentine's Day.

    I hope you enjoy what the Internet told me to plan for you this Valentine's Day.

    david.elmaleh02/10/2013
    4.67 (6 votes)
  • Easter

    I ran out of tampons so I'm using a Peep.

    I ran out of tampons so I'm using a Peep.

    jimmm04/01/2009
    4.68 (287 votes)
  • Easter

    Jesus regrets dying for you.

    Jesus regrets dying for you.

    essentially_me09/27/2009
    4.17 (93 votes)
  • Easter

    If not for Halloween, Easter would be my favorite zombie-related holiday.

    If not for Halloween, Easter would be my favorite zombie-related holiday.

    magicaldumpster04/10/2009
    4.45 (80 votes)
  • Birthday

    Sorry I care so much about your birthday that it's making you uncomfortable.

    Sorry I care so much about your birthday that it's making you uncomfortable.

    elg11/16/2010
    4.61 (23 votes)
  • Workplace

    It's so quiet in the office today, I can hear myself not working.

    It's so quiet in the office today, I can hear myself not working.

    steveolectric03/06/2012
    4.50 (42 votes)
  • Birthday

    I'd bake you a cake today if I knew how to use an oven.

    I'd bake you a cake today if I knew how to use an oven.

    philoliveruk07/17/2013
    3.50 (6 votes)
  • Birthday

    Your birthday means so much to me I've taken time out of doing nothing to send this.

    Your birthday means so much to me I've taken time out of doing nothing to send this.

    philoliveruk07/30/2013
    4.20 (10 votes)
  • Birthday

    I hope you don't have to spend more than 14 hours of your birthday in the office.

    I hope you don't have to spend more than 14 hours of your birthday in the office.

    beatrixxkiddo10/02/2013
    3.33 (3 votes)
  • Birthday

    Happy birthday to someone old enough to remember what it was like to poop without a smartphone.

    Happy birthday to someone old enough to remember what it was like to poop without a smartphone.

    mattdoc04/07/2014
    5.00 (3 votes)
  • Workplace

    Thanks for letting me know I'm doing a great job that won't remotely be reflected in my 2.5% raise.

    Thanks for letting me know I'm doing a great job that won't remotely be reflected in my 2.5% raise.

    cardy_cardberger04/08/2014
    5.00 (4 votes)
  • Somewhat Topical

    It's pointless to make relationship-based someecards because nobody that visits this site is normal enough to be in one.

    It's pointless to make relationship-based someecards because nobody that visits this site is normal enough to be in one.

    ables01/15/2009
    4.20 (97 votes)
  • April Fool's Day

    Getting you to believe you're the father was better than any prank I could have planned.

    Getting you to believe you're the father was better than any prank I could have planned.

    wearsch03/26/2009
    4.17 (46 votes)
  • Confession

    You should have been a blowjob.

    You should have been a blowjob.

    UnsolvedMrE07/27/2010
    4.49 (69 votes)
  • Thinking of You

    My vibrator and I are looking for a third.

    My vibrator and I are looking for a third.

    xiaofan08/03/2010
    4.61 (44 votes)

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