Editors' Picks User Cardsshowing 1 - 20 of 1,101
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  • Thinking of You

    Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.

    Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.

    erinwilliams12307/18/2011
    71 sends
    4.57 (99 votes)

  • Birthday

    If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.

    If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.

    pbalmuth09/16/2009
    65 sends
    4.43 (203 votes)

  • Birthday

    May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.

    May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.

    mjonharr 02/23/2011
    54 sends
    4.44 (96 votes)

  • Flirting

    I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

    I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

    egdoletihw04/14/2011
    47 sends
    4.48 (141 votes)

  • Birthday

    Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.

    Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.

    Adam128985303/23/2012
    45 sends
    4.40 (57 votes)

  • Flirting

    I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.

    I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.

    cardy_cardberger05/21/2012
    36 sends
    3.27 (11 votes)

  • Thinking of You

    I just want you to know that Amish you.

    I just want you to know that Amish you.

    nicoli8002/28/2010
    36 sends
    3.51 (147 votes)

  • Birthday

    I hope you receive the same attention as you demanded on the day of your birth.

    I hope you receive the same attention as you demanded on the day of your birth.

    jefmj10/03/2011
    28 sends
    4.22 (18 votes)

  • Birthday

    At least you're not as old as you will be next year.

    At least you're not as old as you will be next year.

    emjay14401/06/2011
    27 sends
    4.08 (40 votes)

  • Birthday

    Happy Anniversary of Your 29th Birthday.

    Happy Anniversary of Your 29th Birthday.

    daynasuzanne07/01/2011
    25 sends
    3.57 (35 votes)

  • Thinking of You

    You have no idea how many inconvenient boners you have caused.

    You have no idea how many inconvenient boners you have caused.

    jimmm05/27/2009
    23 sends
    4.71 (170 votes)

  • Workplace

    I'd ask you to go fuck yourself, but you'd probably just delegate that to me too.

    I'd ask you to go fuck yourself, but you'd probably just delegate that to me too.

    rockbiter12/03/2010
    21 sends
    4.80 (138 votes)

  • Birthday

    Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs.

    Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs.

    yeawhatever09/27/2009
    19 sends
    3.40 (60 votes)

  • Flirting

    I would hold in my farts for you.

    I would hold in my farts for you.

    artemis77704/07/2012
    18 sends
    4.21 (33 votes)

  • Workplace

    I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.

    I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.

    dillon2820x05/25/2010
    18 sends
    4.70 (219 votes)

  • Flirting

    From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you.

    From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you.

    thirdrocker112/02/2008
    18 sends
    4.40 (195 votes)

  • Flirting

    I'd date you so hard, then marry the shit out of you.

    I'd date you so hard, then marry the shit out of you.

    kathyates05/11/2011
    17 sends
    4.68 (116 votes)

  • Thinking of You

    I miss you like an old man's urine stream misses the toilet.

    I miss you like an old man's urine stream misses the toilet.

    calderasfarm06/03/2009
    17 sends
    4.10 (114 votes)

  • Friendship

    We'll be best friends forever because you already know too much.

    We'll be best friends forever because you already know too much.

    Kelly10153707/06/2010
    13 sends
    4.48 (106 votes)

  • Weekend

    It means so much to me that whenever I need to go out, get trashed and talk shit about people, you're always there for me.

    It means so much to me that whenever I need to go out, get trashed and talk shit about people, you're always there for me.

    cmg869102/26/2009
    13 sends
    4.70 (23 votes)

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