Some people say the term "bitch" is too good for you, but I disagree.
Mary's miracle was a virgin birth. Yours was convincing a man to fuck you.
I respect you as much as you respect your liver.
You're the best friend someone with extremely low expectations could hope for.
I saw a dress that would look just perfect on you. So I bought it for myself.
Since we don't have any mistletoe, how about I kiss you under the camel toe?
If Jesus loves you so fucking much, where are all the gifts HE brought you?
PETA hopes you enjoy your dead, burned, mutilated turkey carcass this Thanksgiving.
Congratulations on your immaculate misconception.
Ever since they cut my heating subsidy, I'm actually hoping to get coal in my stocking.
I'd never allow a little thing like your boyfriend's dick come between us.
Sorry our insincere efforts to drive you away actually worked.
Today's angry young man is tomorrow's crochety old geezer.
I'm not half the woman you are. I'm more like a third.
Watching you eat reminds me to clean out my garbage disposal.
I'd never allow a little thing like our friendship to ruin my promotion.
Having had your dick in my mouth, I can say with confidence that you have no taste.
If looks could kill, you'd have to write a suicide note.
You put the "fucking asshole" in "fucking asshole".
