-
Somewhat Topical
I see you're using your "me-time" hand...
MARCH 12TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Baby
I will keep you up all night with my crying, deprive you of sex, and suck on your wife's breasts.
MARCH 12TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Wedding
What do you mean, at least I match the other kitchen appliances?
MARCH 12TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Movies
I'll paint you like one of my french girls.
MARCH 12TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Somewhat Topical
I'm going to pretend like I don't see you staring at my boobs, and just keep drinking until I don't care that you're staring at my boobs.
MARCH 12TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
-
Seasonal
"...and I want mommy and daddy to stop wrestling so loud when I'm, trying to sleep, and..."
MARCH 12TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Somewhat Topical
Your ex asking to stay friends after you break up is like kidnappers asking to stay in touch after they let you go.
MARCH 2ND, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
-
Flirting
With my looks and your money, my boyfriend and I could really go places.
JANUARY 28TH, 2012
5.00 (2 votes)
-
Confession
Does your list of demands involve my foot in your ass?
JANUARY 28TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Confession
Whenever you look at me that way, I get a headache.
JANUARY 23RD, 2012
3.00 (1 votes)
-
Confession
If I was only 20 years younger and you weren't so ugly...
JANUARY 22ND, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Confession
The last time I saw you, I was hoping it was the last time I saw you.
JANUARY 22ND, 2012
4.81 (21 votes)
-
Flirting
On a scale of 1 to Sasquatch, how ugly is your ex-girlfriend?
JANUARY 21ST, 2012
3.00 (2 votes)
-
Confession
I inherited the cow so I got the milk for free.
JANUARY 18TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
-
Confession
I wish you weren't a mouth breather.
JANUARY 18TH, 2012
4.00 (2 votes)
-
Confession
This is my "me-time" hand.
JANUARY 18TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
-
Confession
You want a chocolate pie?
JANUARY 18TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
