-
We'll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
-
I just want to let you know that if you ever need to have a plant killed, I'm the person to do that job.
-
I'd like to discuss your drinking problem over cocktails.
Sgambati01/09/2012 4 sends
4.55 (29 votes) -
I am just going to keep calling and texting you until you understand how normal I am.
maren02/09/2009 4 sends
4.55 (200 votes) -
If it wasn't for your vagina, we would have a serious bromance going on.
-
I'd appreciate it if once in a while you took time from your busy schedule to call and find out that I am too busy to talk.
tsflock09/08/2010 3 sends
4.48 (23 votes) -
Just let me get my bitch slapper ready... And then we can get down to business.
-
I Love bitching and complaining together. There's no one else that gets me quite like you do.
-
Yes, I read your Ecard. It was dreadful. So to make you feel better, I laughed so hard I shit myself so you could awkwardly laugh about my shit too. BFF!
-
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our edited conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
-
Sometimes when a person suddenly has a problem with you, just think the issue isn't really you, it's their meds.
-
As my friend, you know I'm a judgemental bitch- you should feel lucky you made the cut.
-
I think it's cute when you think you're well enough to stop taking your medication.
-
Thanks for inviting me back to your lake house despite the fact that I slept with your little brother last year and probably will again this year.
-
Chihuahua's The racist dogs.
-
Remember, we have a deal. If either of us is ever in a lengthy coma, the other will visit weekly to remove unwanted facial hair. I am NOT waking up to a moustache!!
-
This is my cup of care. Oh look, it's empty!
-
I wonder if the women who plan their unrealistic weddings on Pinterest will plan their realistic divorces on Pinterest.
Sgambati04/09/2012 2 sends
4.64 (25 votes) -
I know I am getting old when my friends start having kids on purpose.
zubes08/18/2010 2 sends
4.89 (65 votes) -
I'm sorry I made you cry if you're sorry you made me uncomfortable with your tears.