Get Well User Cardsshowing 1 - 20 of 2,918
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  • Reciting Bible scriptures and saying you're Catholic doesn't erase all the lying, cheating, and stealing from friends and family you've done all your life.

    Reciting Bible scriptures and saying you're Catholic doesn't erase all the lying, cheating, and stealing from friends and family you've done all your life.

    johnnygoode4505/18/2012
    5.00 (2 votes)
  • ...and this little pill is called FUCKITALL. I'd tell you more about it... But I could care less if you're interested.

    ...and this little pill is called FUCKITALL. I'd tell you more about it... But I could care less if you're interested.

    rainmandefinitely04/26/2012
    5.00 (3 votes)
  • The hand-cuff bruises are healing nicely.

    The hand-cuff bruises are healing nicely.

    Smartee Pants McGee05/22/2012
    4.50 (2 votes)
  • If you're sick then who the fuck is gonna cook my dinner?

    If you're sick then who the fuck is gonna cook my dinner?

    ktye200705/22/2012
    5.00 (2 votes)
  • Get well soon, because I don't have the time, or patience for your funeral.

    Get well soon, because I don't have the time, or patience for your funeral.

    Drew158640205/21/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • The shin bone's connected to the ankle bone doesn't even begin to cover it.

    The shin bone's connected to the ankle bone doesn't even begin to cover it.

    Angi151839805/09/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • Sounds like you're coming down with a case of being a little pussy.

    Sounds like you're coming down with a case of being a little pussy.

    Notorious SK05/18/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • Get well soon, otherwise who will help me disguise my alcoholism as social drinking.

    Get well soon, otherwise who will help me disguise my alcoholism as social drinking.

    joey170105/17/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having the good sense to be lazy.

    Ambition is a poor excuse for not having the good sense to be lazy.

    gd4405/18/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • Test results just came back and all we could find was a handful of cashews in your underwear. It appears that you are not sick, just fucking nuts.

    Test results just came back and all we could find was a handful of cashews in your underwear. It appears that you are not sick, just fucking nuts.

    scott2dauu05/16/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • I'm sorry that you have to use your sick days for an actual illness.

    I'm sorry that you have to use your sick days for an actual illness.

    87colors05/16/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • A round of applause for the bitch who deleted you, blocked you and is now looking at your profile from their friends Facebook!

    A round of applause for the bitch who deleted you, blocked you and is now looking at your profile from their friends Facebook!

    crlnagrl05/01/2012
    3.67 (2 votes)
  • For diabetics, a spoonful of medicine will make the sugar go down!

    For diabetics, a spoonful of medicine will make the sugar go down!

    generallogan05/10/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • Though I am clearly happy with someone new' my ex's new girlfriend still stalks my Facebook page... honey stop hurting your own feelings.. you'll never be me.

    Though I am clearly happy with someone new' my ex's new girlfriend still stalks my Facebook page... honey stop hurting your own feelings.. you'll never be me.

    smithshay1004/06/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • 'Dude, just fucking reach in and get it. That's $250 worth of good blow.'

    "Dude, just fucking reach in and get it. That's $250 worth of good blow."

    DJ Phreze03/02/2012
    5.00 (2 votes)
  • Get well soon from your fake sickness so I can catch it.

    Get well soon from your fake sickness so I can catch it.

    jw_012305/09/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • Maybe aids isnt as bad as they say.

    Maybe aids isnt as bad as they say.

    phaze21305/08/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • I'm no doctor but I'm pretty sure the 12 pack of beer you drank last night along with a fifth of vodka is called a hangover, not the flu.

    I'm no doctor but I'm pretty sure the 12 pack of beer you drank last night along with a fifth of vodka is called a hangover, not the flu.

    haha0105/07/2012
    5.00 (2 votes)
  • Can you shazam the sound of ailments?

    Can you shazam the sound of ailments?

    Patrick150792705/08/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)
  • Tough life: This kid not only lost his dog but also he has cancer!

    Tough life: This kid not only lost his dog but also he has cancer!

    Abror148581205/08/2012
    5.00 (1 votes)

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