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Workplace
Just wanted to let you know that that vacation your taking is going to be indefinate, as we just successfully replaced you with a machine.
APRIL 17TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Reminders
Bitch better have my honey!
FEBRUARY 26TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Encouragement
Who needs pants anyway?
FEBRUARY 15TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day plans? Just gonna be drinking heavily, while sobbing uncontrollably in a bathtub, listening to Sinead O'Conner ....the usual.
FEBRUARY 14TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
I didn't want to have to be the one to say this to you...but... You're a real bitch.
FEBRUARY 14TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day gives me gas.
FEBRUARY 14TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Valentine's Day
Be romantic, asshole.
FEBRUARY 14TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Valentine's Day
This year, I plan on giving her the most romantic Valentine's Day gift I can think of.... I'm gonna put the toilet seat down.
FEBRUARY 13TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Party
Lady Gaga's gonna flip her shit when I show up to the party dressed in this designer bird cage.
FEBRUARY 9TH, 2012
1.00 (1 votes)
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Cry for Help
If anyone has a dull butter knife lying around, and can spare a minute to stab me repeatedly.... ....that'd be great.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
3.67 (3 votes)
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Valentine's Day
Warning: Valentine's Day sex could result in the birth of babies and those little brats are expensive. Proceed with caution.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Valentine's Day
Here's to hoping that your Valentine's Day starts off with a relaxing massage and ends like a porno.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
4.00 (2 votes)
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Valentine's Day
My Valentine's Day plans include getting lost at sea.
FEBRUARY 4TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Flirting
I don't care how ridiculous you dress.... It's what's underneath that awful outfit that counts.
FEBRUARY 4TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
I've got three Tonka trucks down my pants.
FEBRUARY 3RD, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Confession
My friends say I'm a tease..... but I like to think of myself as more a giant whore.
FEBRUARY 3RD, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
These things are going right up my butt as soon as my porn career takes off.
FEBRUARY 3RD, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Seasonal
Beaches and weiners. Living the dream!
FEBRUARY 3RD, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
Do these tights make my package look small?
FEBRUARY 2ND, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
Just arrest me now, before happy hour hits and I begin drunkenly vandalizing shit.
FEBRUARY 2ND, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
