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Valentine's Day
I look forward to spending valentine's day with you, even though it means I don't get a pint of Ben & Jerry's all to myself.
FEBRUARY 13TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Birthday
I'm going to eat some cake for your birthday.
MARCH 24TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Breakup
Thanks for reminding me why I shouldn't break the third date rule.
OCTOBER 19TH, 2009
0.00 (0 votes)
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Thanks
Thanks for upping the hotness quotient at my party.
OCTOBER 4TH, 2009
3.00 (1 votes)
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Apology
I apologize for not being a better secretary, even though that's not my job.
SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2009
4.00 (5 votes)
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Thanks
Thanks for leaving work exceptionally early today so that I didn't look bad for sneaking out at 4:45.
AUGUST 19TH, 2009
4.22 (40 votes)
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Flirting
I hope you haven't been in some terrible accident preventing you from returning my calls.
AUGUST 14TH, 2009
2.60 (5 votes)
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Apology
It's been ten minutes and you haven't replied to my email. Are we in a fight?
AUGUST 13TH, 2009
3.80 (5 votes)
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Birthday
Thanks for probably thinking of me on my birthday.
JULY 22ND, 2009
4.40 (5 votes)
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Independence Day
Quitting as governor is so patriotic.
JULY 4TH, 2009
2.50 (2 votes)
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Confession
I'm still sad about Michael.
JUNE 30TH, 2009
1.00 (3 votes)
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Flirting
Hurry up and accept my facebook friend invite so that I can stalk you online and then casually ask you out.
JUNE 16TH, 2009
3.00 (2 votes)
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Wedding
I can't come to your wedding because my only plus one is the extra beer I'd be ordering for myself.
JUNE 15TH, 2009
0.00 (0 votes)
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Apology
Sorry that you can't comprehend that a good lunch is more important to me than our friendship.
JUNE 4TH, 2009
3.00 (1 votes)
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Other Holidays
Congratulations on having full citizenship rights in 6 out of the 50 states.
MAY 27TH, 2009
4.71 (7 votes)
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Somewhat Topical
Golly, the world is just so darned fucked up!
MAY 23RD, 2009
3.60 (5 votes)
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Breakup
I'm looking for a guy with a sense of humor, and by that I mean good looking and rich.
MAY 23RD, 2009
3.57 (7 votes)
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Congratulations
Congratulations that the severe chest pain you went to the hospital for turned out to just be gas.
MAY 21ST, 2009
5.00 (1 votes)
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Workplace
Please specify in your meeting invite whether or not free lunch will be involved. Then I'll RSVP accordingly.
MAY 15TH, 2009
4.25 (8 votes)
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Workplace
Let's discuss this important issue later when I'm not so exausted from the giant burrito that I ate at lunch today.
MAY 12TH, 2009
5.00 (1 votes)
