I think white cropped pants should be banned from the south. Don't you?
I think you should give up Facebook for Lent.
Happy Birthday...from someone who was not notified by Facebook.
Why do you drive to the mailbox to get the mail? Walking a few yards will not hurt you.
Was it you or the dog that farted?
I just want you to buy me something.
Don't buy valentine crap the day of and act like you put thought into it!
Your kids are going to be overbese.
Putting lipstick on doesn't make it okay to leave the house in that outfit.
I ate the chocolates! It wasn't the dogs.
I stare at all your facial imperfections while you talk.
Dear Jesus, I like to ride my bike on Sundays, and it's all I think about at church.
I would rather cuddle with the dogs.
I hate when you fart and smile.
