I'm sorry for not immediately noticing your haircut.
I'm sorry I have too big an ego to say I'm sorry.
I'm confident you won't date anyone better looking than me.
Let's be friends that occasionally have relations.
That mustache makes you look like a date rapist.
Why, yes, my milkshake does bring all the boys to the yard.
I look forward to our awkward sexual tension at work on Monday.
Let's be friends that don't see each other outside work.
Your facebook is embarrassing.
Let's stop being in the same place at the same time.
Let's make terrible decisions tonight.
I'm sorry you can't pull off hats.
Sorry my rabbit tried to eat your hair.
Congratulations on your suspiciously hasty wedding.
I'm sorry my daddy issues prevent us from having a healthy relationship.
If you ignore my recent weight gain, I'll pretend not to notice your receding hairline.
It gets me hot when you use their, there, and they're correctly.
