If you're lazy enough, every sport is "extreme."
I wonder if Christ is bringing sexy back with him on Saturday?
Dear Xbox Kinect, If I wanted to use my whole body to play sports, I would just play sports.
My heart is not your dick so quit playing with it.
Clearly there is no good excuse for my behavior, so I'm drinking until I have one.
The only red and white dozen I am interested in today is Budweiser.
Sex is only great when it involves me.
I'm glad that you didn't let something like a nice day stop you from being such a cunt.
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don't do stupid shit is fired.
In regards to whatever the fuck it is that is wrong with you: it's not a small thing.
There's a method to MY madness. You're just a fucking idiot.
It would be great if your penis was as big as your huge, yet completely unfounded, ego.
I used to love tequila which is probably why I don't like it anymore.
If I knew then what I know now I'd probably still find a way to screw it up.
This conversation would be going a lot better if your voice was muffled by my thighs.
Karma means that I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
