Mother's Day User Cardsshowing 121 - 140 of 1,814
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  • Senility is for my birthday... Mother's Day is for pretending that this magical cloth can wipe away the effects of family.

    Senility is for my birthday... Mother's Day is for pretending that this magical cloth can wipe away the effects of family.

    gpard04/30/2009
    0 sends
    3.17 (6 votes)
  • Woh Mom... Let's pretend it's your birthday. Just put the plaid back on and contemplate death.

    Woh Mom... Let's pretend it's your birthday. Just put the plaid back on and contemplate death.

    gpard04/30/2009
    0 sends
    4.50 (2 votes)
  • I really appreciate how you laughed instead of calling 911 when the gas I was cyphening flooded my eyes and rushed down my throat.

    I really appreciate how you laughed instead of calling 911 when the gas I was cyphening flooded my eyes and rushed down my throat.

    payrollbabe200305/01/2009
    0 sends
    3.40 (5 votes)
  • I'm so happy that my father got remarried to a fine piece of ass such as yourself.

    I'm so happy that my father got remarried to a fine piece of ass such as yourself.

    ron mexico05/01/2009
    0 sends
    4.40 (5 votes)
  • Thanks for letting everyone know about my conception on FMyLife.com.

    Thanks for letting everyone know about my conception on FMyLife.com.

    ron mexico05/01/2009
    0 sends
    5.00 (2 votes)
  • I'm still not convinced you're my mother.

    I'm still not convinced you're my mother.

    barby.doc05/03/2009
    0 sends
    4.36 (11 votes)
  • Thanks mom for the new blue marble bag with Crown Royal on it.

    Thanks mom for the new blue marble bag with Crown Royal on it.

    sheree000005/03/2009
    0 sends
    3.33 (3 votes)
  • Don't let my niceness to you this Mother's Day fool you into thinking I've stopped blaming you for all of my problems.

    Don't let my niceness to you this Mother's Day fool you into thinking I've stopped blaming you for all of my problems.

    drollchick05/04/2009
    0 sends
    4.50 (4 votes)
  • I was going to get you flowers this Mother's Day, but 1-800-Flowers hung up on me when I asked for a 'you're a cunt' arrangement.

    I was going to get you flowers this Mother's Day, but 1-800-Flowers hung up on me when I asked for a "you're a cunt" arrangement.

    drollchick05/04/2009
    0 sends
    4.07 (14 votes)
  • It's not that I don't love you, it's just that my mother fucked up my sexual identity.

    It's not that I don't love you, it's just that my mother fucked up my sexual identity.

    tddoyle05/04/2009
    0 sends
    3.67 (6 votes)
  • I'm sorry I told you that I was planning on giving your mother a pearl necklace for Mother's Day.

    I'm sorry I told you that I was planning on giving your mother a pearl necklace for Mother's Day.

    magicaldumpster05/04/2009
    0 sends
    4.00 (1 votes)
  • Don't worry about thanking your mother on Mother's Day...I showed her enough gratitude for the both of us last night.

    Don't worry about thanking your mother on Mother's Day...I showed her enough gratitude for the both of us last night.

    apfelicus05/04/2009
    0 sends
    4.44 (9 votes)
  • Nothing says, 'I Love You Mom,' like a three hour wait at the Olive Garden.

    Nothing says, "I Love You Mom," like a three hour wait at the Olive Garden.

    triplenates05/04/2009
    0 sends
    4.33 (3 votes)
  • Happy Mother's Day to the woman who ruined my inheritance.

    Happy Mother's Day to the woman who ruined my inheritance.

    snarkatwork05/04/2009
    0 sends
    3.33 (3 votes)
  • Thanks for the free womb and board Mom! Happy Mother's Day!

    Thanks for the free womb and board Mom! Happy Mother's Day!

    mominterrupted05/04/2009
    0 sends
    4.00 (10 votes)
  • Thanks for being a wonderful mother and always supporting me in every decision you ever made for me.

    Thanks for being a wonderful mother and always supporting me in every decision you ever made for me.

    dumbdumb05/05/2009
    0 sends
    4.08 (12 votes)
  • Samuel, if we HAVE to name a day honoring George W. Bush ... How about we call it ... Mother's Day.

    Samuel, if we HAVE to name a day honoring George W. Bush ... How about we call it ... Mother's Day.

    woofdoc05/05/2009
    0 sends
    1.00 (1 votes)
  • Even though our children are dead, I still wanted to wish you a Happy Mother's Day Edna.

    Even though our children are dead, I still wanted to wish you a Happy Mother's Day Edna.

    woofdoc05/05/2009
    0 sends
    1.00 (1 votes)
  • Mom, it's nice to see that your crippling agoraphobic depression hasn't dissuaded your anticipatory excitement for brunch!

    Mom, it's nice to see that your crippling agoraphobic depression hasn't dissuaded your anticipatory excitement for brunch!

    tee mcgee05/05/2009
    0 sends
    4.33 (12 votes)
  • When I look at the kind of adult I turned out to be, it's obvious your parenting skills were impaired by a controlled substance.

    When I look at the kind of adult I turned out to be, it's obvious your parenting skills were impaired by a controlled substance.

    clutch23405/05/2009
    0 sends
    4.33 (9 votes)

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