Our friendship is worthy of a billion dollar book series.
My new hobby is pissing you off.
It disturbs me that our best conversations are filled with your incessant, repetitive compliments.
"Cheers to the 3 day freakin' weekend, Yes I'll drink to that".
Congrats on not being able to take your meds for the next nine months.
Your attempt to pressure me will only lead to this relationship's demise...
When I said you were hot, I didn't realize you were really a hot mess.
Did you really think I would stay with you once I found out how little you made?
The Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself, and honey I can love me all night long.
Hey baby wanna go back to my house for pizza and fuck?..... What, you dont like pizza????
Khloe, Just take the fuckin DNA test!
You Do Realize I'm Going To Fuck You When I See You?
The first rule of fight club... Knock that bitch down and pull her hair.
Feather dusting makes you demented.
![[UPDATED] 23 Craigslist Missed Connections that we pray never lead to a connection.](http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/feed_assets/4e07b1762a1ac_m4e08b71540124.png)
