Crimped hair is a great style for your wedding. Said no one, ever.
When you light that candle in your office; we all know you pretty much just shit your pants.
If you must take a shit at work, don't leave the Fucking door open when your done!
Beer.... The breakfast of champions.
You are gonna make one Beast of a bride!
Fucking you was just another feather in my hat.
I see you driving 'round town With the girl I love and I'm like, Fuck you! Oo, oo, ooo.
I guess I should've known by the way you popped you collar sideways that it wouldn't last.
Maybe if I use an old ass picture for my profile people will really think I still look like that!
This is by far your most Fucked up idea ever......... I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I lost my leg in a shark attack.
You know your man is a keeper when he is too broke to pay his ex-wife back for the divorce.
And that kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack... But it would not be the last.
I use antlers in all of my decorating.
If anyone is gonna fuck my sister, It's gonna be me.
