Ya know what this Christmas music needs? More cowbell.
At this time tomorrow, it won't be this time.
I choose to protest Wall Street while occupying my couch.
Can Jagger even move like Jagger anymore?
Let us protest in the filth to which we've become accustomed.
I think weathermen pray for 55 degrees just so they can say "double nickels".
To hell with my diet. If the world ends Saturday, I'm not going up in smoke holding a lettuce leaf.
Attention birthers: You are cordially invited to shut the fuck up.
If wishing Charlie Sheen would start doing drugs again is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Hey Charlie, how's that rehab workin' for ya?
You're like school on Sunday - no class.
Here's a nice steaming cup of STFU with a fuck off sandwich on the side.
Thank you, dead presidents, for sacrificing your life so that we may have a three day weekend.
Nothing makes me feel more patriotic than a 3 day weekend.
Overthrowing the government and raping American reporters...all in a day's work.
I was going to arrive to work today in my egg, but thought maybe I should wait until Spring.
